Baby Blase

5 1/2 months was long enough to go on coddling our little angel - time to buck-up and become a man. Time to sleep on your own, without the help of your mommy! Much to the dismay of both grandmas - we decided it was time. So, I sent Marc out to get a book, because (I couldn’t even wait a day for Amazon to deliver - I needed it now!) when I set my mind to do something there is no waiting. The torture-technique book we decided to go with was The Sleepeasy Solution because 1,000 celebrities can’t be wrong. And really, I’m just a sucker for anything that Jack Black and Ben Stiller would endorse.

That night I read at least half the book. Essentially, it is a version of the cry-it-out technique. For bedtime and naps you create your own schedule and routine and must stick to it. Then set the little one in his crib - drowsy - and walk away.You check in at 5 minutes, 10 minutes and 15 minutes or longer, if necessary (but, no touching - just use your voice for 30 seconds to reassure the kid that it’s OK).

It felt as though I was sending my baby off to war - just a poor little, helpless infant packed up and shipped off to a hostile country to do battle for a cause that he didn’t understand and didn’t believe in.

Here’s our schedule:

7pm: rice cereal

7:15: bath

7:35: read books in rocking chair with mom and dad in his room, then check/change diaper

7:45: nurse him (about 4oz) getting drowsy - but, talked to him to keep him awake

8:00: keep rocking him and sing a little, but, keep him awake

8:10: lay him in crib, stroke his head, give him his blankie, talk to him tell him that we love him and that he CAN do it (silently, think that there is a snowball’s chance that it will work)

8:15: close the door and listen to the baby explosion

Grab glass of wine and turn on the movie No Country For Old Men. Turn up the volume.

1st check-in: 8:20

Finish wine. Concentrate on movie - noting that pretty much every character in the film has it worse off than my kid. Take a little bit of comfort in that.

Crying intensifies and then starts to calm (we decide not to do another check-in) and then, just like that - the crying stops at 8:40. The baby sleeps. He slept 10 hours - which is normal for him. The book says to try to stretch your kid to 11 hours. We chose to let him wake up at 6:30, eat and then go back to sleep - which he did for 1.5 more hours.

Summary:
crying: 25 minutes
check-ins: 1 at 5 minutes
total sleep: 10 hours

He did it - I’m still flabbergasted!

Next up, long-division and driving a stick-shift.

Listening: Johnny Cash (A Boy Named Sue)

Because I am too busy picking myself up off the floor after my head exploded earlier today…

The kid SLEEPS…

ON HIS OWN!

More info on sleep training later. After my brain rearranges itself and my view of the world comes back into focus through the newly rose-colored glasses of a mom whose son sleeps… like a big boy.

Listening: The First Aid Kit

Listening: Fleet Foxes (this is for you Shauna!)

Listening: Miles Kurosky

The nanny was sick yesterday. Uh… yeah… that totally sucked.

It made me realize, even more than I knew before, how astonishingly stupid we were to work full-time and care for the kid for the first four months of his life. Even now, typing this I am amazed that we did it - that we survived this past summer. On the bright side, whatever working-mom guilt I had has dissipated. I suppose if it was an option to stay home with the kid and not work at all, it would be one thing, but, it isn’t. I now know, with 100% certainty, that working and caring for a child - at the same time - is a ridiculous undertaking and should not be attempted by any sane-minded person (I blame my temporary insanity on my work-addiction and delusion that having a baby wouldn’t change me). As hard as it is to admit it, Harrison is better off in the care of the nanny for 40 hours a week.

Listening: First Aid Kit

Having a nanny share has been pretty great. The nanny is extremely patient and caring…and ambitious. She is determined to get Harrison to roll-back-over (something he’s been having a bit of a struggle with) and to get him to self-sooth to sleep. While these are both excellent goals, they create a fair bit of crying. Last week after a particularly long roll-over-training - I came out to the living room and told the nanny that, “That is about as much crying as I can take.” To which she rightfully replied, “Aimee, you have to learn patience.” HA! She has no idea.

This week is Harrison’s turn to be at the other house, so the nanny decided this was a good time to start sleep training for naps. She did it three times yesterday with success. Marc and I tried to continue the work for bedtime and chickened out. We let him go ten minutes, soothed for five and just couldn’t do it again. I know I know! That was the worst thing we could do! But, he is such a great sleeper - he self-soothes all night long (he typically wakes up twice during the night - we can hear a loud cough or even a cry in the monitor and he puts himself back to sleep!). He’s been sleeping 11 hours straight! Why on earth would anybody in their right mind mess with that!?

… alright Kara - let’s hear it - a pep-talk or scolding - I’m ready for either.

Listening: Jenny Lewis

There is nothing more rejuvenating for Marc and me then a trip to the movies. Even a day-spa massage brings with it a level of expectation that often times is not met. But, with a movie (at the Drafthouse) I find that even with a sub-par cinematic presentation the experience of sitting in a dark theater with, in this case a mid-day beer, sandwich and fries, makes for an uplifting, head-clearing, renewal of one’s day. We just skipped out on our responsibilities for a couple of hours to watch City of Ember. And I am proud to admit that I experienced little to no guilt in leaving my post at the computer mid-day - which is a huge step forward for me. Now, if I can only sit through a two hour movie and not think about my son every other minute… every five minutes is OK, or even every third - but, come on… every other minute - that is just ridiculous!

Listening: Metric

Part Two of the interview I did pre-baby is up at Livemom.com. I was supposed to get back to her about 4 months ago… so it goes.

Listening: The Rumblestrips

I tried really hard to be mad at Marc this morning…

We had a disagreement argument OK it was a fight about the kid’s sleeping arrangement last night. We have been transitioning him from the warm, cozy, vibrating chair (a crutch that we relied on way too long), with swaddle-wrapped-kid to -eventually- the cold, hard, empty crib with kid all alone to fend for himself. I had a brilliant 15-step plan to help our little angel transition, but, Marc upon seeing the sleep sack I bought, thought it was too cute to wait and decided to skip ahead and throw Harrison to the wolves - the cold, hard, empty crib… all alone to fend for himself.

To be fair, Harrison did way better than I had expected. But, he woke at 2:30, 5:45 and finally at 7 making for a not-ideal night of sleep for any of us. I didn’t want to say “I told you so” - I wanted Marc to admit defeat and apologize. As I tried to hold a grudge, Marc walked in with Harrison, all smiles, cooing like the little angel-doll-baby he is and I couldn’t be mad at anything in the world. When something that effing cute is staring back at you with adoring eyes - piddly crap just doesn’t matter.

Listening: The Ugly Suit

Son, I know I owe you your Five Month Letter… but, it’s tough to look back on the past month when you are hitting milestones left and right! I promise - I will get to it soon. Until then here’s what’s new!

Marc set up the highchair last night and the kid totally dug it. We are now officially banned from (shield your eyes dad) eating dinner in front of the TV. Harrison can join us at the dinner table.

He also enjoyed his first real rice cereal. Eating like an old pro from a spoon.

This is extremely helpful as he has been eating us out of house and home for the past week - he increased his milk intake by at least 25%. My body has yet to get the message, so, we have been stealing some of Mr. Perfect’s (nanny-share baby #2) formula to add to the boy’s bottles during the day.

He’s just all kinds of grown-up these days. That is exciting and just a little bit sad for Marc and me. There is less and less time for cuddling as his eyes open up wider to the awesome world around him. But, seeing him become more human and less blob-like is what this whole adventure is all about.

Listening: The Format