he’s – uh – spirited. yeah, that’s it.

Our office is situated right near the side door that adjoins the carport area. And when I’m working I can hear the car pull up. Typically the sound of the car is followed by the joyful wrapping on the glass door with a “MOMMY – I’m HOME!” But, other nights the gentle hum of the car is sharply interrupted by shrieking that permeates even the car and house doors – the violent screams of Harrison’s dissatisfaction with the quality of our parenting.

The usual red-faced “YOU ARE STUPID!” and tear-filled “I HATE YOUs!” were followed tonight, from his timeout spot on the stairs, with a calm and sweet appeal to me for a new daddy. “I want a new daddy, not my old daddy… please mommy.”

After a minute of allowing him to calm down on the steps I had a conversation where I was able to ascertain the crux of the problem. He was “JUST SO ANGRY!” because he thought it was Tuesday which meant that he had karate and he was disappointed that he didn’t. And he was “VERY MAD” that I had to go to skating practice. So when I asked him if the fact that karate wasn’t tonight was his dad’s fault he immediately said yes… paused while he thought about it and then said no… same thing for my practice. Because Marc had been the one to tell him the upsetting news he was angry with Marc. It took a while but, we figured it out.

While it is my nature to want to assert my power over him and prove that my lungs are larger, it really doesn’t solve the problem of him being extremely sensitive and not having the maturity to deal with his emotions. So, we communicate and bite our tongues and turn away to hide our giggles and tell ourselves that something good will come out of his temperament. And I remind Marc that I was exactly like Harrison when I was little almost my whole life… it took me 33 years and a whole lot of life lessons (and life coaching) to get a handle on my particular brand of crazy — to be able to fully put that passion to use in a positive way. It is my goal to get H here a bit faster.

This glimpse into our world brought to you by what has increasingly becoming our bible over the past couple years:

Listening: Woods

4 Responses to “he’s – uh – spirited. yeah, that’s it.”

  1. love that you are back to blogging =) and i don’t believe one word about you or harrison about being “spirited” like that.

  2. So glad you are back!! It’s great that you can identify with Harrison’s passionate personality. I have to remind myself daily that I am as stubborn as Tyler. I do truly believe you will see some dramatic emotional growth somewhere around his 5th birthday. That’s what we’ve experienced and what I always heard from others but never believed. Also, I don’t know how much you paid attention to the summer Olympics but I read numeous quotes from the moms of both Michael Phelps and Ryan Lochte that they were “spirited” children and yesterday read an interview with Justin Beiber’s mom where she stated he was “totally out of control” and talked about a note she recieved from his preshool teachers that said, “Justin is biting his friends again.” So, Harrison and Tyler are simply going to be superstars.

  3. nicole – thank you! us parents of “spirited” children need to tell each other whatever we can to get through! :) but, in all seriousness I do think that it’s a sign of a great passion that he has and that will serve him well.

  4. Sounds a lot like what goes on in our house with our own H. And a HUGE ditto on the emotional growth spurt around age 5!! Everybody told me 4 was way better than 3, but I’m pretty sure they were lying just to get me through. My H went through some big (positive) changes shortly after turning 4.5, and for the most part things have been so much better. She’s had a few periods of backtracking, but over the course of like a week she became better able to handle her emotions. She’s at least TRYING to more often, even if she’s not capable yet.
    I keep telling myself the traits that make parenting her difficult are the same that will serve her well as an adult. I just have to get us there somehow, lol.

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