Our office is situated right near the side door that adjoins the carport area. And when I’m working I can hear the car pull up. Typically the sound of the car is followed by the joyful wrapping on the glass door with a “MOMMY – I’m HOME!” But, other nights the gentle hum of the car is sharply interrupted by shrieking that permeates even the car and house doors – the violent screams of Harrison’s dissatisfaction with the quality of our parenting.
The usual red-faced “YOU ARE STUPID!” and tear-filled “I HATE YOUs!” were followed tonight, from his timeout spot on the stairs, with a calm and sweet appeal to me for a new daddy. “I want a new daddy, not my old daddy… please mommy.”
After a minute of allowing him to calm down on the steps I had a conversation where I was able to ascertain the crux of the problem. He was “JUST SO ANGRY!” because he thought it was Tuesday which meant that he had karate and he was disappointed that he didn’t. And he was “VERY MAD” that I had to go to skating practice. So when I asked him if the fact that karate wasn’t tonight was his dad’s fault he immediately said yes… paused while he thought about it and then said no… same thing for my practice. Because Marc had been the one to tell him the upsetting news he was angry with Marc. It took a while but, we figured it out.
While it is my nature to want to assert my power over him and prove that my lungs are larger, it really doesn’t solve the problem of him being extremely sensitive and not having the maturity to deal with his emotions. So, we communicate and bite our tongues and turn away to hide our giggles and tell ourselves that something good will come out of his temperament. And I remind Marc that I was exactly like Harrison when I was little almost my whole life… it took me 33 years and a whole lot of life lessons (and life coaching) to get a handle on my particular brand of crazy — to be able to fully put that passion to use in a positive way. It is my goal to get H here a bit faster.