of big wheels and bee stings
When Auntie Kylies and I went to pick H up from school yesterday, we tentatively waited in the entry looking for him. He turned the corner to look outside and caught eyes with me from across the room. He was confused for a split second… then I could physically feel the relief and joy radiating from him. I was immediately transported to times in my life when I have felt that.
Like the time I got stung by a bee down the street at the Hawkins house. Mrs. Hawkins asked if I was okay and I bravely told her yes, got on my big wheels and rode as fast as my scrawny legs could take me. It was a long street with a side court splitting the Hawkins’ house from ours and knowing that I was not allowed to cross the street I rode the entire way around the side court and then down the street to the very end where we lived. I ran into the house, found my mom and collapsed in her arms. The feeling of complete and utter safety knowing that everything is perfect and I will be okay was so intense that even writing about it now I am reliving it with tears in my eyes.
(FYI – that is a loooong way on a big wheels)
Seeing that in Harrison’s eyes yesterday broke my heart. Knowing that for him to feel that much happiness – so much that he couldn’t contain his sobs made me feel guilty and sad about putting him through a day of torture at school. I wanted to pull him out of school, sell our house, eliminate all of our financial responsibilities and quit my job in order to keep him with me all day so that he would never feel that again.
And it wasn’t until just now – writing this – that I realized that without challenges and new experiences, new people and places and bee stings life wouldn’t be what it is. Without that bee sting I wouldn’t have one of my most precious memories of childhood… the best-ever mommy-hug.
And to be fair, school was not torturous for him. In fact this morning he was happy to go back. And when Marc (only Marc this time – I didn’t think I could take any more tears) took him to school today, Harrison put his lunch box away himself and began inside play. And there was no crying – a bit of “Daddy I need a hug…” but, then he went back to his activity and that was that.
And I know that the kid will be fine. I know that he will better than fine. When I picked him up yesterday his teacher (the woman who has been running it for 30+ years) told me that he asked about Mommy throughout the day – calmly and never with tears – and she would tell him that I’d be back later and that he can play now… and he would respond, “OK – I was just joking.” Apparently she’d never heard that one before – first day and already making an impression.
Listening: Twin Sister
i totally agree with you. new experiences and challenges are good for everyone at any age.
the pick-up hugs are the best!
Well I am writing this with tears rolling down my cheeks. I remember that do so well – you were very brave until you got home. What a wonderful memory for both of us. And how fun to see the old neighborhood again. I am so thrilled that Harrison is doing so well – Dad just said, “give him a couple of weeks and he will own the place”.