a heartbreaking work of staggering sadness
I sent my kid off to preschool today to be raised by complete and total strangers.
We have been talking about school… about how AWESOME it is… how there will be KIDS there! and GIRLS there! and you’ll get to have a nap with all the other kids… and there will be lunch – with a special school-cookie (yup, I promised him chocolate-chip-sugary-buttery-goodness to ease my own guilt about sending him off to school).
And all of this was working. He WAS excited. Until we got there and were ready to leave him and I could see it in his eyes. That he thought that SCHOOL was an activity that WE were going to experience TOGETHER.
I forgot to explain to him that school was what he would be doing while daddy would be working and while mommy would be scouring the internet to find information about how sending your kid to full-time day care at two years old will not scar them for life.
So, when we started to leave he looked confused. He cried and grabbed for me, begging for a hug. And I KNOW logically that you need to leave him there all nonchalant-like as to convince him that you trust the place, that it’s okay and that YOU are not nervous – but, the kid rarely cries when we leave him (granted the only place we’ve ever left him was at a familiar house where he had Finny to comfort him). I hugged and kissed him and turned and walked away. I blew a kiss and said “See ya! Love ya!” which is our standard goodbye. One of his teachers picked him up, which comforted him a bit, and when we got outside the gate he yelled through sobs “Bye Bye!” and waved.
Auntie Kylies was with us (because oh yeah, by the way – my sister and her husband BOUGHT A HOUSE. IN AUSTIN. PRACTICALLY AROUND THE CORNER FROM US. AND THEY ARE MOVING HERE… TODAY! More on that later… back to how I’m scarring my kid for life). So, Kylies turned to wave one last time – because I couldn’t (didn’t want him to see the tears streaming down my face) and she happily reported that he had stopped crying and was looking around the playground most likely scoping out his closest competition for that cute, little, curly-haired brunette we saw as we walked in.
Listening: The Sea & Cake
Sending you love and hugs….it is the hardest step!! He will do great, and sometimes that is a little hard too! Finding out that maybe we arent as indispensible as we think! (Though of course nothing can ever replace mom and dad)
Please remind me of all this next Monday when Sutter starts KINDERGARTEN and I forget all my newfound preschool wisdom!!!
Love to you,
Sarah
It’s always tough for the first week or two- then they get used to it and practically shoo you out the door!
THANK YOU Sarah! THANK YOU Catherine!
It’s just hard to reconcile the logical brain with the broken heart.
I know he will be great!
: )
THANK YOU!
Oh Aimee, I feel for you! It is SO hard but he is a great kid and he will be fine. Let us know how he does and how the nap goes. He is going to be in heaven with all the new toys, activities and projects that they do there so the day will fly by for him. By the way, when we were driving home from camping, Tyler said out of nowhere, “I wanted to play with Harrison for longer” and he makes me show him where Harrison is on his map placemat every night at dinner. So cute.
As I said earlier, next there will be kindergarten, then high school, then college, then marriage. I still miss you girls when you are away. But I know Harrison will be fine – give him a day or two. Love, Mom
can you sneak back and take a peak at them playing, without him being able to see you? owen’s preschool has sort of a “spy” room. might make you feel better to see him playing happily. maybe you could wear a disguise =)
hope tomorrow goes better, i’m sure it will. he’s going to love it.
Oh my goodness, I almost cried reading this! However, he’s the perfect kid for school, and I know he’ll be comfortable in no time!!
Ugh! I can only imagine. We’ll be there in about a year with Maggie and I know I’ll be a mess. Jim and I haven’t done anything other than errands or work in about a year now. I finally found someone to babysit and then, just thinking about leaving her with someone else, I couldn’t do it!
AHH! Nicole! that made my day! SO CUTE! I soo need to write about camping… just trying to get my feet under me now… but, I will soon! We had such a wonderful time with you all… and H loves loves loves Tyler, Owen & Dylan! What a great group of boys. ANd yes, today was better – I will write it up soon!
Chelsea! HI! I know – it’s hard to imagine that little spitfire caring about his parents more than playing with KIDS & NEW TOYS!! But, this is a big change… he will get through it and maybe I will… someday.
Kara – yes! great idea… but, I don’t think they have a spy room. But, I have thought about sneaking over to see them playing outside because the yard is all open with a short fence!
: )