Baby Blase

It was after both sets of grandparents left – about week 3.5 – when we had to ask what on earth were we supposed to be doing with this kid?

While the grandparents were here it was easy: pass child back and forth between each perma-smile-wearing-grandparent while Marc and I try to get our brains back in working order. But, once they left I convinced myself that he needed stimulation in order to grow. I was sure that his brain couldn’t possibly develop without some sort of toy, gadget or black and white colored object for him to stare at.

Before he was born Marc and I told ourselves that we wouldn’t be the kind of parents that filled their house with plastic $#!^ from China – that we would allow our child to just chill and check out the world around him – that he would and should be satisfied with one or two toys, wooden of course, preferably made by hand.

It only took three weeks for all of that nonsense to be flushed down the toilet with our environmentally-friendly diapers. We actually asked both of our parents what we were supposed to be doing with him. Both sets pretty much answered the same way, “Just hold him and love him.” Well, that was clearly just their new-grandparent, mashed-potato-brains talking. How on earth could he ever learn anything laying around staring off into space!?

So, because I hate to shop, and we didn’t have any toys that he was capable of playing with, I made and printed out a black and white checkerboard pattern on a sheet of paper and taped it next to him in his bouncy chair. This was, of course, another ridiculous attempt at early-parenting, but, I can remember being truly concerned about his little brain and that we weren’t doing enough – and that we had probably already lost a lot of ground in the three weeks that we just sat around holding him.

Again, it is a good thing I made that checkerboard – who knows where we would be today without my quick thinking and ingenuity.

Listening: Handsome Furs