just a couple of softies
Having a nanny share has been pretty great. The nanny is extremely patient and caring…and ambitious. She is determined to get Harrison to roll-back-over (something he’s been having a bit of a struggle with) and to get him to self-sooth to sleep. While these are both excellent goals, they create a fair bit of crying. Last week after a particularly long roll-over-training - I came out to the living room and told the nanny that, “That is about as much crying as I can take.” To which she rightfully replied, “Aimee, you have to learn patience.” HA! She has no idea.
This week is Harrison’s turn to be at the other house, so the nanny decided this was a good time to start sleep training for naps. She did it three times yesterday with success. Marc and I tried to continue the work for bedtime and chickened out. We let him go ten minutes, soothed for five and just couldn’t do it again. I know I know! That was the worst thing we could do! But, he is such a great sleeper - he self-soothes all night long (he typically wakes up twice during the night - we can hear a loud cough or even a cry in the monitor and he puts himself back to sleep!). He’s been sleeping 11 hours straight! Why on earth would anybody in their right mind mess with that!?
… alright Kara - let’s hear it - a pep-talk or scolding - I’m ready for either.
Listening: Jenny Lewis
You can do it! A year from now you will be so, so, SO glad you did sleep training at 4 months. It is 100% worth it.
OK… that’s 1 vote for torture. Anybody else?
: )
Kara can provide the gory details, but we waited ENTIRELY too long with Owen. It took four days of crying at night. The thing is that 10 minutes seems like 10 hours when they’re crying. Do what we did, turn the TV up.
Kara, the floor is yours.
OK Kara - bring on the gore.
Ten minutes is nothing. We let you cry for about 45 minutes when we decided you should be sleeping through the night. It only happened one night and you slept through from then on. And you didn’t turn out too bad. Love, Mom
that’s 3 votes for torture.
45 minutes!? Holy crap!
Tyler was exactly like Harrison and us, being the naive new parents we were (are?) thought exactly like you do - why mess with what is working? Yeah, I rocked or fed him to sleep every night but hey, he was sleeping like a champ, we bragged…then…6 months hit and it was all over. We like to blame it on the fact that we were in CA for 5 weeks over the holidays but that was just our attempt at making ourselves feel better. He did not know how to “self-soothe” and we paid the price. So, the message here is obviously, DO IT NOW. We tried various versions of the “crying it out” method and found one that worked for him and we were comfortable with - you will figure it out. Good luck!
thank you nicole! that makes me feel a little better.
wow! didn’t know that i was the local sleep expert. i’m flattered =) i just sent you an email with more details, but in short. yes, do it. 4 days. 1 hard day, don’t go back. leave the house if you have to. marc can handle it.
having been through several very tough rounds of training with gus (he vomits on purpose) i’ve discovered that you can really only do sleep training when you are truly at the end of your rope– otherwise you will always cave. so, i say, if right now he’s sleeping well at night and YOU don’t have a problem with your bedtime routine– don’t try to fix what isn’t broken. when the situation devolves into you being frustrated with bedtime or harrison awake at night, and you can’t take it– then do training. otherwise, there are just too many “problems” to fix and we parents feel as though we never do anything “right.” enjoy the moment. you will “fix” this problem many times– and then they go and change! such is the nature of kids.
thanks heidi… we will see what happens!